18.6.09

And she returned...

The blade was already digging deep in her skin; droplets of blood oozing out. She could’ve ended it in a fraction of a second, but she didn’t. Instead, she tasted her own blood- yes, tasted it. It tasted like rust; nothing like the red wine she had imagined it to bear resemblance to. But it was pleasant nonetheless. It seemed to affect her strangely. Suddenly, she could hear her own heartbeats distinctly. It seemed to her that somebody had wrenched her heart and held it close to her ears; so unmistakably audible. 

She was startled for a moment. Had she died, perhaps? Yes! That seems only plausible. She had, after all, managed to kill herself. Yet, she could feel it hammering against her chest; proof enough that it was still there. She WAS alive, then.

She could still feel the cold blood running through her veins searching for any nook or cranny of her body that wasn’t insensate yet. The biting cold blood surging ahead... Cold. Blood. COLD?!?! She was perplexed. Wasn’t blood supposed to be warm and revitalising? She felt for the handkerchief she now remembered tying across that cut. It was wet, but not with blood. Instead- she now saw- it was ice cold water.

Water? She found herself at a loss again. Just then a strong gust of wind blew away her scarf and she came out of the trance. She found herself standing in the exact centre of the town square. She had no recollection of taking that ever familiar lift from the fourth floor where her apartment was located; no recollection of taking the stairs either. Yet here she was- in the town square- and what she had imagined to be heartbeats and blood were the howling wind and rain, respectively. 

Perplexed at first, she snapped back to her senses. It didn’t matter how she had reached the town square. The rain had done something good, it seemed. She now realised the terrible mistake she was about to commit barely 10 minutes ago. Her husband had been killed, yes; her entire family had been wiped out in that attack, true. But she was alive and healthy and so was her daughter. It hadn’t even been 3 days since the family’s demise and she was contemplating suicide!

As if on cue, her 5-year-old’s laughter rang in her ears. There she was- 4 floors above in their apartment- calling out to her. Her deep brown hair billowing about in the fierce wind as she cried- “I want to play in the rain too mommy. I want to go out with you.”

She looked at that innocent little angel. The girl wasn’t even aware of the calamity that had struck them. “No,” she reminded herself. She had to live. She had to live for Samantha; the girl had already lost enough.

“Mommy, take me with you please mommy.”

She could almost feel the heat radiating from her once-numb body. She could not die anymore. Samantha needed her. Her daughter needed her.

“I’m coming darling, my angel, just a...”

Her last words died in her throat. All that remained of that moment was the blare of a horn, the screech of tires, a thud and a bloodcurdling scream.
 _____________________________________________________________________________  

34 comments:

Tabitha said...

Ok.. All i can say is tat I am left numb after readin this one (nothin comfortable bout this numbness) I guess you jus shook me outta my sleep at like 2 am in the morn... Some vivid imagery in tat one... keep em comin (NOTE TO SELF: Do not read Creation's blogs in the nite; could lead to insomnia)

Abhijeet !! who else ? said...

this happen that night, isn't it ?
around 3AM.

AP said...

Samantha? Samantha? For Heaven's sake, couldn't you think of a nice Indian name?
You know, something like Mala, Bela, Charulata, Ankita or Kriti... :-) :-P :-D

Creation said...

@ Tabitha

Aw.. I'm so sorry it shook you hard. I'll take care not to post anything like that at night, promise! :-)

I'm secretly glad about the 'nombness' part. Atleast the story had the desired effect.

Do keep visiting.
Cheers! :-)

Creation said...

@ Abhijeet


Yes yes!!!

Creation said...

@ Anubhav

Well, for one, I have seen people naming their daughters Samantha in India as well. Though, I admit, it's still rare.

And more importantly, the name just came to me.. just like that! Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that the nick 'Sam' had been haunting me.

ani_aset said...

oh no tragic cruel :(...nice writing kreator

Anonymous said...

loved it. the end was predictable to a certain extent but nevertheless, an absolute gem of a story....

Especially, liked the speed at which the story moves in a no nonsense manner....

Great work!

Creation said...

@ Ani

Well, I was ina bad bad mood and wanted to kill someone. Hence, the tragic end.
I'm glad you liked the writing style, though.

Creation said...

@ Anonymous

Wow! I'm glad you 'loved it'.
So so glad!!

Well, even I felt the end was a bit predictable, but I thought there was a chance to catch the reader off-guard.

Turns out it didn't work.

But still, thank you so much for the generous comment!!

I'll try be a little less predictable next time.

P.S.: I would've been even more happy lest you had mentioned your name, but alas!

Aniket said...

A post on the blood and the the wine already han?

And that means the one for the competition would be even better. Damn. Tough competition.

You could have refined this and used it you know. The plot was real good. You know how I love to kill my characters. :D

And no surprises that I loved the description of tasting blood part. Could almost taste the blood on my lips. Ummmmmmm... yummy! :)

Creation said...

@ Aniket

'Refined and used it'?
Wow!
Look who's talking like a pro now!!

Well, don't want to burst your bubble, but whatever gave you the idea I'm participating in the competition? It's all yours, don't fret! ;-)

I SO KNEW YOU'D LIKE IT!!!
lol.
Glad you finally commented. Was wondering what kept you for so long...

Thanks.
Cheers!

Aniket said...

Work my friend... work!

Creation said...

@ Aniket

Ah well... now where have I heard that one before? ;-)

rabbit said...

everything fine>???

Aw.S.M said...

aap ne update kiya aur hume bataaya tak nahi :(...bad bad kriti..no donut for u :(

But hum dost hain..isliye hum yahaan aa gaye :)..hehe

Aw.S.M said...

Chilling story...!! and u just had to kill her didnt u!!...i thought the gal d fall of the balcony but noooo u had to kill the mom and leave the gal to rot !!...sadist!! :)

but the effects were top notch as always...that goes without saying :)

luv
amith

Creation said...

@ Rabbit

Oh yes, everything's fine!
Aww.. that was so sweet of you to ask! :-)
I'm so lucky to have such considering people around here.
Thank you for visiting!!

Creation said...

@ Amith

Well, I can't help it if you've decided to condemn messenger... considering you're not online anymore. And I deleted my FB, so couldn't have posted a link there.

And yet, you're here!!
Yay!!
hehe

lol.
Well, yes. I HAD to kill her! I was in a really bad mood and wanted to kill somebody, literally. Since I couldn't have done it without being condemned to prison for life, then getting myself a rock-hammer, digging a tunnel for a good 20 years and finally crawling to freedom through 500 yards of hit... i thought hard for an alternative and this is what I got. I can surely kill someone if I created them. ;-D (yeah yeah.. go ahead.. exclaim how intelligent I am!! :P)

I think now I'v finally come to understand why Bulwer-Lytton proclaimed the pen is mightier than the sword.
;-)

Thank you for being so generous with all that praise. I hope it doesn't go to my head.

Anonymous said...

wow
this is a great piece.very well down the description is real and emotion transcends from the writer to the reader. almost as though that the reader is watching the writer.
well thats the way a felt asny way

ShantanuDas said...

You are horrific! But well let me concede you are fantastically horrifying.

Anonymous said...

Hey! stumbled upon ur blog from a frnds, n I jus had to comment, staying anony else it wud scare d shit out of my frnd.. :)

D first part was as real as it is in reality, cz i was tht woman.. no i m nt as old as tht woman, n my mind is far too comples.. I was jus a teen thn. D blood, d way u described it, was amazing, u took me back to dat one day..

Thankfully, its all over n behind me nw.. bt ur story, chilled me to the bone. I dont knw if i shud call d story brilliant, bt d way u told it certainly was.

Aupsy-The cOOlest One!! said...

oooooooooo....itna tragic!!! u seem to have taken murphy uncle too seriously... "whatever is supposed to go wrong most definitely will, and in the worst possible sequence"... lol

good imagination though... bechaari Samantha!!! :(

Creation said...

@ Anonymous 1

Wow!
I'm so glad you found it realistic and could relate to it.
I would've been even more glad if I knew who this was.
But well, my bad luck!
Hope you visit again and mention your name the next time you're here! :-)

Creation said...

@ Shantanu


Err.. am i supposed to take that as a compliment?

Creation said...

@ Anony 2


I guess I've achieved some success with the story as quite a few people found it realistic. The blood description was perhaps real coz I described it from memory... my own experience. ;-)

Glad you found it telling!!

As for the friend... i hope he/she doesn't guess! :-)

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Creation said...

@ Ayush

Murphy uncle ne kuchh galat thode na bola tha!!
He was a genius!!
lolzz

And Samantha itni bhi bechari nahi hai.
The inspiration behind Samantha's name was the nick 'Sam'. Go figure!! ;-)

ShantanuDas said...

Welllllll...

Little Girl Lost said...

Delicious Kriti... Very very delicious, and very dark :)
loved it...

Anonymous said...

Mention my name with the typo bad speliling. evry rule of punctuation out of the window. who can it be lil sis

Anonymous said...

Mention my name with the typo bad speliling. evry rule of punctuation out of the window. who can it be lil sis

Creation said...

@ Amps

Haha!!

You've got a strong contender now. I'm getting good at typos too! :P

aditi said...

Oh I so... agree with Tabitha, I wonder what kept me away from this but I guess I was SUPPOSED to read it at 1 in the night... darn! der goes my sleep out of da window!
Gr8 work, or shall I say, gr8 creation? ;) Theres something so familiar about this... almost like I was gonna write it. I guess almost everyone here thought that. Theres your USP, gal.

Dave King said...

Well done, a a joy to read.