Mired in Gloom

As the melancholy creeps in

Taking with it the resplendent joy

Of making it this far

Up to the very Lacroix*.

But now it’s just me

And you are nowhere to be found

The miracle, I know now,

Was nothing but a sweet lie.

It’s just the silence that surrounds

Drowns me in its depth profound.

My soul beseeches to be found.

The walls –declivitous, confine me in.

Sunshine seems a thing of yore.

The sky still distant

Beckons no more.

And solitary I stand

The shadows I do not fear

Memories turn to fantasies

Hope converts into a vision of wonder.

On a gloomy night, I fill myself with grief

As life drowns in pools of tears,

And life drowns in pools of tears.

* Lacroix- is a crater on the Moon

Contradiction- construed.

There's no escaping it. There's no escaping you. No matter what I do, where I go, you always seem to find a way in.

Wherever I go

I find you staring

Back at me

My own reflection

The mocking smile, plastered all over your face. More like a Mona Lisa than a Cheshire cat. The spark in your eyes- alarming, intimidating.

The eyes- effeminate

Moist, but sparkling

Accusing nonetheless

Of crimes unnerving.

You wanted me to shut up. I did that. So, why are forcing me to do this? Why do you want me to open the Pandora's box of emotions welled up inside me?

It is not easy

To hold it all in

The emotions, they are

All bottled within.

I don't know why you feel I ridicule you. True, my words sound malicious multiple times. But are you not intelligent enough to understand that I do not intend to hurt you?? But perhaps, it is not your fault at all. I'm a leettle too good at concealing it and concealing it well.

A trifle too good

I am, I'm aware,

At concealing it all

Pretending I don't care

And in the process of hiding from everyone, I seem to have lost myself. Completely. But,

Lest you say

I forgot you, my dear

Do understand-

I'm not what I appear.

The reason I ridicule you (for if that's what you still think) is to avoid the hushed whispers, the wiggle-waggle. 

Does that clear anything, Mr. Distorted Tube-lights?

__________________________________________________________________________________

Author's note: The poem posted earlier- Contradiction- was not a poem at all. It was all part of a small write-up, addressed to a certain someone. I had written it, yes... but I had never intended to actually post the entire thing here and I never intended to show it to anyone, either. Ironically, I have just done exactly that. Why? I don't know. 

DU's heart in right place, finally

(July 7, 2009; Hindustan Times, Delhi: Click on the picture to read the article.)