13.7.09

Mired in Gloom



As the melancholy creeps in
Taking with it the resplendent joy
Of making it this far
Up to the very Lacroix*.
But now it’s just me
And you are nowhere to be found
The miracle, I know now,
Was nothing but a sweet lie.
It’s just the silence that surrounds
Drowns me in its depth profound.
My soul beseeches to be found.


The walls –declivitous, confine me in.
Sunshine seems a thing of yore.
The sky still distant
Beckons no more.
And solitary I stand
The shadows I do not fear
Memories turn to fantasies
Hope converts into a vision of wonder.
On a gloomy night, I fill myself with grief
As life drowns in pools of tears,
And life drowns in pools of tears.

* Lacroix- is a crater on the Moon

30 comments:

Onward said...

Actually its not just u..hum sab kya dekhne ke liye khade hain ?? :P :P

Nice lines but temme wats a "Lacroix"? i even googled it but it says some drinking water thingie..do explain :)

luv
amith

Kriti said...

@ His Royal Higness- the one and only AwSM

Bhavnaao ko samjho, mere dost. Bhavnaao ko samjho..!! :P

Lacroix is a crater on moon. I had intended to explain it but somehow missed it out. Now, I've edited the post.
Thanks for bringing it to my notice.

:-)

Aupsy-The cOOlest One!! said...

nights are seldom gloomy when they're not long! So maybe the way gettin out of the lacroix (neither google nor ms-word recognizes this word... r u sure its spelled ryt?) is 'early to bed, late to rise'...
hope u got the drift ;)

Kriti said...

@ Ayush

Yup! The spelling's correct. I've mentioned at the end that it a crater on the moon. Use the google 'define' feature na. It'll return just one hit.

And well, sleeping early does seem like a plausible option, certainly! :)

BloggerMouth said...

"The sky still distant
Beckons no more.
And solitary I stand
The shadows I do not fear
Memories turn to fantasies
Hope converts into a vision of wonder."


Well that's not the story of just your life, I can assure you. My first time here. Glad I saw this page.

Cheers!
Swati

Unknown said...

really touching!!... :)

Kriti said...

@ Swati

Always a pleasure to see new faces here!!

Thank you so much for dropping by. Do stick around! :-)

Kriti said...

@ Mansi


Thanks!!

Anonymous said...

So sad yet brilliant, i must say i had to read it twice to understand it yet as always u have inked down a masterpiece in your growing collection.

Kriti said...

@ Anonymous


Thank you so much!!

Aniket Thakkar said...

The repetition of the last line does its job well. And you don't seem sad in the comment section so all I'll say is great writing.

And you didn't even read my contest entry? Its the first time this has happened? What did I do?

Kriti said...

@ Aniket

I'm so glad someone noticed and actually mentioned that! :-)

I'm getting better at handling it. I posted the poem 4 days after writing it. The gloom had evaporated by then :P

And of course I read your contest entry! On Flash Fiction!!
I was the first to comment!!

GRRR

ShantanuDas said...

I would always like to comment on a poem.. because when I comment on a poem it makes me appear very intellectual. But then come to think of it.. do I understand modern art? No to me it looks like a dab of paint thrown on the canvas by a mad man who wanted to pass his time by dipping his brush into different colours and then just shaking it over the canvas.. and LO & Behold.. an object of art appears!. Do really all those who appreciate modern art really understand it or do they appreciate in order to be with the crowd- afraid that if they do not do so they will be called dumb?

Well to say that I undertood your poem.. I would be lying.. and i have no qualms of being called dumb!

But I will say this much.. the best poets are those who have some sadness in their minds.. maybe even they do not know it.. the sadness need not be any torture they have faced or a lost childhood or a lost love.. it can be just an inbuild questionning nature about his or her very existence.. a sadness that comes NOT from his current life.. but maybe inherited from previous ones..

Who knows? It seems you have something inside you that even you do not know perhaps..
& that is why even though I do not understand a BIT of what you are saying or have said.. I can still sense that the poem is actually an outburst of your feelings.. and they are indeed deep feelings..

but again.. it may be just a way of showing your fear that you are doing badly in life? eg like failing in your exams? Who knows!
:-)

But I do like to read sometimes things I do not understand... and ur blog is one such !!

ani_aset said...

"As life drowns in pools of tears,
And life drowns in pools of tears"

Seems like everyone is on a trip..of sadness :D

What lines creation..lovely

Kriti said...

@ Ani

I go on these lil hikes in to the forest of gloom very regularly indeed. Everyone? Who else?

BrownPhantom said...

It surely was melancholic..
And where did you get your vocabulary from :). Thanks for Lacroix ; would use it sometime :)

ani_aset said...

thamb ga mulgi ..jhalaa kay :P

T said...

On a gloomy night, I fill myself with grief
As life drowns in pools of tears,
And life drowns in pools of tears



Damn!! U jus described me in dat poem, esp these lines...
Its was so sad and yet so brilliant. Excellent work.

(d same anony2 from ur 'And she returned.. post')

Kriti said...

@ Brown Phantom

From humble bloggers and readers like yourself! And reading helps too. :-)

I don't remember where I learnt about Lacroix... maybe while readin some Science fiction...

AP said...

Bawaara man dekhne chala ek sapna, bawaara man dekhne chala ek sapna, bawaara man dekhne chala ek sapna...

Esther said...

Life definitely drowns in tears!! =P

T'was an awesome one!

Piya said...

Dear...such an awesome and touching poem...didnt want to use the word poem(but short of vocabulary) ;) ..its something more than that...
"A voice from a heart.. that seeks for some truth (may be)..
enough of this liar world now...
lemme live in my own vicinity..."
(i know i am bad at writing...but jus wrote down wht i felt after reading your kreation.
GOD BLESS!!

Regards,
Piya

lena said...

One of the best melancholic poems i read recently.. only why reading such beautiful poems i still do remember that actually i love poetry :)

Kriti said...

@ All

My apologies for the super late response people. I was extremely busy with a couple of things. The next post (I'll make sure I put it up today!) will xplain how and why. And finally that I HAVE got the time to reply to the comments... well, let's get down to it. :-)

Kriti said...

@ Ani

I'm so sorry but I really do not understand Marathi (isn't it?). Hindi, angrezi ya Hinglish chalegi! :D

Kriti said...

@ Anubhav


Baawre se mann ki dekho baawri hain baatein... :-)

Kriti said...

@ Esther

It feels so good to see new people here. Glad you liked it. Thank you! Do keep visiting. :-)

Kriti said...

@ T

Ah! That's one step ahead! Now you're T instead of anony 2.
It is always a sort of a pleasure to learn, as a writer, that you're readers connect with your work even if it's just one out of 100!
And it is always a pelasure to have them around. Thank you so much for stopping by! :-)

Kriti said...

@ Piya
(Priyanka?)

What could be a better compliment than the fact that my Kreation 'inspired' you to write a couple of brilliant lines yourself! Really! Enough of this liar world now.

Kriti said...

@ Lena

Yes. You need not be a poet to WRITE poetry but only a true poet UNDERSTANDS it. Like Mr. Sand said- "He who draws noble delights from sentiments of poetry is a true poet, though he has never written a line in all his life." :-)