12.10.08

...And then it ceased to exist

The grassland green,
A healthy sheen,
You, with her,
The blossoms wither.

The burning sun,
On me- a pun,
The feelings- condensed.
And darkness descends.

A solitary loon,
Beneath the moon,
Reminds me of myself,
(My heart on) The bottom-most shelf.

That last goodbye,
My tears run dry,
A lone bird,
The final word.

The ghostly strays,
She silently prays,
I watch and laugh,
(Snap) The twig in half.

And walk away.

_____________________________________________________________________

As i mentioned in the previous post, I was in no fit mental state to come up with anything productive. This is an all time low phase in my life and the last thing I intended was to write. But somehow, I ended up writing this poem which is in no way related to me or anybody I know for that matter (I hope that will put an end to all the crazy speculations). 

Feel free to interpret in any way you want to...

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

This poem has a universal nature.Yet it brings a special meaning to the reader, one that only he or she can understand. for me its the meaning of journey of life, there are so many we and all have a birth and death, just like our existence.
Ampla naidoo

C R D said...

now tht i understood the meaning of the poem...i think its the guy who ought to have been punished..

mebbe the cheated lady shudnt hate the other woman so much

creation said...

@ Ampla...
those were the intentions..

a universal appeal..

@ CRD

i told you to comment befoe you read the explanation!
hmph!
neways.. thanx..
keep visitng..

Nishi said...

nice one here..

someone onc said words are like strings of a guitar.. everyone reads it and it sounds different to each one of them...

creation said...

@ Nishi..
Thanks dear..

Was that Gaurav Sir who said it?

Prianca said...

i read your poem
nd re-read it, re-re-read it again
its like WOW!!!
one of the most grim feelings magnificently put in words.

loved it

creation said...

@ Prianca

Thank you. I am humbled...

AP said...

To say the least, ‘tis a complex poem in rhyme- rich in imagery and metaphors with interplays of various emotions…its ambiguity lends itself open to any number of interpretations, each word being a loaded one with numerous connotations. Some randomly (in)coherent thoughts…

The first three stanzas appear to be in retrospect- the narrator is thinking about those “grassland green” days when all was well and good and “healthy” until something happened to wither the “blossoms”. This something is the either the introduction of the “you” in this idyllic pastoral set-up or the souring of the bond betwixt the “you” and “I”.

“Blossoms” can be seen as representing a relationship in its nascent stage- had the same matured it might have led to some fruits (as blossoms usually do). Yet, that was not to be and the same died in its initial stage. The death of the “blossoms”, therefore, is not just the premature death of a single relationship- it is also the destruction of the peace and harmonious joy of the pastoral paradise of line 1. With their withering the “grassland green” is no longer what it used to be: poisoned by this “you” perhaps it can never be what it used to be…

In this sense, the “burning sun” is indeed a pun, for while sunlight usually brings to sight wholesome and goodly things here it not just exposes dead/dying remnants of a nascent body that was but also, quite literally, ‘burns’ the withering blossoms: public exposure furthers their decay and makes them all the more odious and ghastly.

Furthermore, this exposure of that which was leads to a withdrawal: emotions start getting pent up and so an emotional as well as intellectual “darkness descends”. In this “darkness” the image of the moon, often associated with lunacy in anthropocentric cultures, heightens the sense of the ruptured/lost ‘paradise’. The “bottom-most shelf” is also suggestive- it seems to indicate a nadir in emotional/intellectual sensitivities.

The theme of loneliness is carried on in the next stanza as well: the image of the “lone bird” brings to the mind a diverse range of feelings, from flight to strength to defiance. The “ghostly strays” seem to indicate a reoccurrence of either the memories of the primal pastoral scene or of the act(s) itself: in both cases the cyclical nature of life is firmly established.

Yet, just as that is done, linearity takes over. Walking away in the end seems to suggest an overcoming of the past, a moving ahead after things have come full circle. It is now, and not earlier when the “burning sun” withers the blossoms, that the relationship, whatever it might have been, has fully ceased to exist (though the same can be challenged by pointing out the reoccurrence of memories…).

As I said, a very complex poem…the relationship here can be any bond, between any two (or more?) animate beings. If this is the author’s “all time low phase” then her zenith will be a wondrous sight to behold.

creation said...

@AP

Even if I were asked to elucidate the poem I could not have done a better job than that. Your elaboration is better than the poem itself!

I am privileged!

Nishi said...

naah.. i read it in some book i guess..

creation said...

ohh ok.

anu said...

now thts called a nice poem...
mixture of different feelings..nd all are connected to each other. as in its a cycle...
very well put..nice thoughts
take care

creation said...

@ anu

Thanks.
Cheers!

The Lover said...

It's a beautiful poem n i loved your blog!

creation said...

@ The Lover

Thank you.

Comfortably Numb said...

The only thing about which im wondering is:

I watch and laugh,
(Snap) The twig in half.

I kind of get the rest of the poem. Definite meaning.

Cheers!!

creation said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scribblers Inc said...

okay two things:

first, I dont understand poetry much but I dig what you wrote for one simple reason;its short and precise.

second, everyone feels screwed up at some time or maybe all the time( gettin personal here) but that should not be a deterent to a good time...after all feeling screwed and havin fun dont need to be related, do they?? :D

Smile!!:)
Scribblers Inc.

Aupsy-The cOOlest One!! said...

wow....i feel like a lost child whose suddenly wandered into vast open "greenlands" , minus ofcourse the burning sun, rather full of well- bloomed pieces of poetry!!! :) :P

u wrote this poem in not the best of ur moods...and look at the comments!!! Well done!!! :)

Prakhar said...

you know...i dun like the rhyming poems that much...but this is really beautiful..an emotion is expressed....every word owns its place

last three lines i like the most :)

keep writing!

nd thanks for stopping by..i have replied to ur comment :)

Creation said...

@ Comfortably Numb

Glad to see you here.

As the narrator stands back and watches the two souls, introspects, he/she realizes the inanity of the situation and the pointlessness and recklessness of his/her own actions and judgements. This recognition of what was and what will be enlightens him/her and he/she finally recognizes that which is and hence the laugh.

The snapping of the twig comes from the realization. It is an action equivalent of 'breaking the mould', of moving on, of moving ahead, of moving away from the complicated past which is nothing but an elapsed memory.

I hope that it helps.

Cheers!

Creation said...

@ Scribblers

Thank you for dropping by.


Yes, you are right. It need not be related but then, again. writing depressing poems is not exactly anybody's idea of fun... is it?

Creation said...

@ Ayush

yeah... I wrote this in not the best of my moods and in 6 mins. flat yet it was appreciated....
What more could I ask for?

Thnx! :)

Creation said...

@ Prakhar

Oh! Thank you for appreciating my poem even though you don't like rhyming poems.

:)

Prakhar said...

hey...i really liked ur poem....i dun have anythin against rhyming poem...its just when words are put just to rhyme...thats why I said in yours...the words own their place!..

m really sorry..if my comments hurt u in any way..m just an amateur scribbler :)

Creation said...

@ Prakhar...

Please don't get panicky. Your comment did not hurt me in any way. In fact, I was actually glad that you liked my poem even though you preferred the free-verse.
I genuinely thanked you, and I do so again... Thank You!

Kartz said...

Profound as it gets...

Peace, be well.

Creation said...

@ Kartz

Thanx. God bless!